Which one should you follow?
I’ve always been torn between doing what I should do, and doing what I felt I should do.
What I should do:
My ‘common sense’ has always told me I need to get out there and get a job that makes plenty of money. First security, then everything else.
What I felt I should do:
Some other part of me (my gut?) has been telling me there’s something else there for me to do. Something that might not even make sense, but it’s the right thing for me to do, and if I do it, if I commit to it then money won’t be a problem. This is perhaps what you could call my life purpose or my destiny. For me it’s just what fits me best to do.
Is destiny just bullshit?
It’s very hard to do the second thing, to follow your heart. It’s very hard to consider that you have a life purpose when you’re just trying to survive (Personally, I’m sick of just surviving). It’s very hard to take that risk to follow your heart. Especially when you’re not even sure if that’s what you want to do. What if you’re wrong?
- It’s a risk if you have bills to pay and people to support.
- It’s a risk to change your life from one you’re already settled into.
- It’s a risk of ridicule from people who might see you fail.
- Is the risk worth it?
That’s the thing, is the risk worth it? Is it worth taking a chance based on a feeling you have, when you know that there are things you need/must do to survive? Is it a case of being practical vs following a desire? Is it selfish to follow this desire?
Is there a purpose of life?
I often wonder about the idea of things like destiny, or having meaning in your life. I find that, in day to day life, you tend to mostly come across two kinds of people:
- The ‘just do it’ people, who just get on with it, and don’t think about destiny or that sort of thing.
- The dreamers, who are always thinking about their destiny, or ideal path, or whatever, but never really achieving anything.
I probably fall into the second camp, but I honestly don’t know which is the right one. I would like to think that there is a best path for us all. It makes sense to me that of all the things you could possibly do in your life that there is a best fit for you.
Is it possible that there’s a combination of both. A perfect fit for you that you just do. I think we all know people that have a best fit for their life. People who know what they want to do, and know who they are, and they just get on with it. My heart is jealous of people like that.
Is your quality of life based on who you are as a person, or on how far you are from your best fit, your life purpose?
I’ve been driven towards personal development for a long time. Only in recent years did I realise that a lot of the motivation behind that drive was toward fixing myself. I feel like all my problems in life are due to my imperfections as a person. The feeling is that if I could just fix myself, then my life would be better.
Would it though?
It occurs to me based on thoughts I’ve had, and things I’ve written so far, that if I was living the life that was right for me, the life that meant something to me, then perhaps it would’ve been better by default, even with all my problems! I’m not talking about destiny or my life purpose or anything like that, but rather just a good life for me to lead.
A good life that fits me.
I was always torn between what my heart wanted to do, and what other people thought I should do.
How do you find your life purpose when you should be following your common sense?
I’ve mentioned before here that in writing, which I enjoy, my life feels better, and has more personal meaning to me. I have a strong belief that everyone has a best possible life they could lead, a best life path. If people found that thing, that best path would their lives be better, not in riches or material goods or anything like that, but would they just feel better about their lives. Would they feel like what they were doing was worthwhile. I mean really feel it, not just think it.
Perhaps life would be better in other ways too. I’ve found that because I spend some time each day doing the thing that has meaning to me personally, that it’s much easier to do the other things I need to do to survive. I feel more positive about life, and I find it easier to deal with the tougher parts of life. Is it possible maybe that with a more positive attitude to life, you could attract more positive situations. Notice that people who live into their later years in life tend to have great positive spirit.
Many philosophers have said that if you’re doing what’s in your heart then it’ll work out, then the universe will help you, everything you need will come to you. Deepak Chopra told his children to do whatever they wanted in life as long as it was positive. He told them that if they needed money to do it he’d give it to them, that they weren’t to worry about money. He said that not one of them came back to him for money. Doesn’t that say something about following your heart?
Is it possible that there’s a perfect fit for you?
I’ve often asked this of people and I get the usual arguments.
- “You still have to make money”
- “You still have to have a job”
- “That’s alright for some people”.
I think that all of those things were said out of fear. Hiding from their own potential, from what they didn’t want to face up to. I know, I do it myself. Even though I believe in those things I say, I still live the life of someone who doesn’t believe. Maybe that’s because it’s the life you’ve become accustomed to. Maybe it’s the habits you’ve created, the things you’ve grown up believing that cause you to be that way.
Is there a better way though? Doesn’t some part of your self believe that the other possibility is positive? Doesn’t some part of yourself believe in better? That there can be some better life for you, something that fits you better.
One small step won’t hurt…
If you do, then why not try it? I know it’s hard. That’s why I’m not saying make a major life changing decision. Just change something small. Do the thing that has meaning to you. Do it in a very small way.
Find the smallest, easiest way that you can do it, and do it every single day.
Just do it.
See what happens.
If it’s good then do a little more, then a little more, then a little more…